Ask the LifeQuake Doctor – Vision Magazine/ January Issue
January 2012 Issue Vision Magazine
Whew! Another year is gone and we are finally in 2012. Honestly, I doubt the world is going to end this year but I think that life as we’ve known it is coming to an end. The economic contraction has given us all pause to really think about what we value and put our time and money into, as well as examining the nature of the economic structure of Wall Street, banking, and The Federal Reserve.
On a practical note, look at creating goals for 2012 that will nourish your body, mind, and spirit.
Dear Dr. Toni:
I own a small business with a partner.
My business partner and I are having some major communication breakdowns. We own a business that involves both marketing, new product creation, and manufacturing. I handle the marketing and the accounting. He handles the manufacturing and product development. His job requires him to supervise staff in the manufacturing arena that has become all consuming and isn’t allowing him to spend time in new product development. My job involves more interface with the public and stores we are approaching to carry our products.
He feels that I have the easy job and he has the hard one and resentment is building with him over this erroneous perception. Hi boyfriend broke up with him a few months ago and I think that this is contributing to his resentment. I have a girlfriend and a personal life. He is not enjoying his life outside our business. What would you suggest I do? Should we part ways? We have a lot invested in this business and a year of our lives.
Can you help? Should we get a business coach? We just don’t have a lot of extra money to spend on an outside consultant.
I think it is premature for you to part ways. If you perceive that your job is as taxing as his, perhaps sitting down with a mutual friend who can play mediator might help.
I would suggest that you explain to your partner what makes his contribution so valuable to the company. Then I would explain what you go through to get the business customers. I would explore with him what are some things he could be doing in his off hours to restore his wellbeing. Perhaps it might be worthwhile to write down your financial goals for 2012 and include that part of the additional income you bring in be line itemed toward hiring a part time supervisor so that he can spend more time doing the creative side of the business that he enjoys in product development.
You may find that there are business coaches who might be willing to work with you once a month just to keep you two continuing to build better communication. I have certainly been willing to do that with my consulting business.
Dear Dr. Toni:
I am thirty years old, a guy, never been married and am in love with this girl who is driving me crazy. She tells me she loves me, then she goes off to India, comes back and tells me she was with this wealthy guy when she was away but she still loves me. By the way, we met while she was still ending a relationship with a friend of mine. She’s gorgeous. Men are just so hot for her and I feel flattered she wants to be with me. I just don’t know if I can trust her. Would love your advice as to rather I should cut and run or stick it out and see where this goes.
Crazed and in Love
What is not clear to me is what do you want in a relationship at this pointing your life? Do you want a monogamous, committed relationship or do you want a love affair where both of you are free to see other people? It sounds like you are taken with the fact that she wants you in spite of other men being interested and that is seductive for you. However, can you handle her free spirit and allow her and you the freedom to be open to others? The only way this will work is for you to get clear.
If you want a committed relationship, then put your sword in the ground and ask for what you want. If you’re ok keeping it loose, start dating other girls immediately and let her know you are doing so. This may clarify things for both of you.
May all my readers have a 2012 that brings gentle expansion and awesome evolutionary change!
I will be giving a teleclass January 17. Please call 310-890-6832 for more information or write me at: DrToni@LifeQuake.net.
Dr. Toni Galardi is a licensed psychotherapist, life transitions strategist, and author and is available for consult by phone or SKYPE. . You can reach her through her website, http://www.lifequake.net, DrToni@LifeQuake.net, or 310-890-6832.